For those who know me, have dated me and to the man I married, the quickest way to win me over is a good old fashioned case of Chivalry. As of late, I’ve read a few Facebook posts that have centered around the amount of money a man spends on a first date & women who feel that they can no longer date a man after they offer to pay half, and the man lets them. The latter is easy….don’t ask for what you don’t want just to see if they will turn you down. If you ask, be prepared to pay….enough said.
If you haven’t read my first 3 blogs about chivalry……pause now, and type chivalry in the search bar to the upper right. Read them and then come back and finish reading this one. The first 3 will give you the reason(s) and the lesson(s) for the need to keep chivalry alive. Now back to the Facebook posts. Let’s examine the amount of money a man spends on a first date debacle.
First date – A recent article posted by a friend indicated that a man living in Washington D.C. spends an average of $177 on their first date. This post created a firestorm of men who appeared to be disgruntled with said dollar amount. Some men who live on the east coast were able to justify the cost based on several factors that didn’t include dinner and drinks. Other men proceeded to whine about having to spend more than they felt necessary just in case the woman was not worth (in their opinion) their time, effort & money. A few women commented that it wasn’t about the money spent but the conversation & enjoyment on their first date. One gentleman even went so far as to equate “Any female counting the receipts and assigning that to chivalry” to a harlot who would take a gratuity from a man of any value. Excuse me???
No one said anything about counting receipts and equating that to chivalry. Chivalry isn’t about getting things in return, it’s about being recognized for your actions & knowing that the person you are with will also treat you with the same respect. I believe that chivalry is a two-way street…men shouldn’t be taken for a train ride….paying for dinner & drinks when dating IS a chivalrous gesture, no one is asking you to fund shopping sprees or anything else that’s outside standard dating.
I’m talking basic chivalrous behavior….just a few suggestions in case anyone wasn’t trained in the art of chivalry: open the car door, pull out her chair, stand up when she stands to leave the table, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, help her put her coat on….I have a host of other examples that my father taught me through leading by example with my mother. This new generation has no clue that subtle things like those examples….score major points. And for the ladies, an example: if he opens the car door and you get in…lean over and open his door….easy peasy two way streety.
The problem with dating now is that people are more self-absorbed and self-centered than ever. Its all about what am I getting out of this for doing that. If you don’t know me by now…you should know that I am a passionate chic when it comes to chivalry, respect & getting off the pot & committing. Its not that difficult.
I will leave you with this thought……dating now is not the same as dating before social media, online dating sites and over exposure to technology. Stay tuned for Chivalry 105….
I can’t say this enough……Here’s to well trained…well crafted….chivalry mastered men…and here’s to the adults who instilled its art form….may the gift of chivalry never die…..and the acceptance of its grace never be shunned…….CHEERS!!!