We all have said at least once…..if I knew then…..what I know now…………..well its never to late to start to learn from what you know now. While I am an old married woman…I still have a few beautiful single girlfriends. They are single for whatever reason and each has their own unique story. With the ratio of men to women…..half the women in the world will probably never marry. Everytime I hear of a boy being born…I get excited!! One because I have a boy…and feel that I have contributed to the marriage of some very lucky girl in the future….now whether I like her or not is a whole nother blog post. With that said…..here are a few rules of “engagement” that I believe could actually work…..if properly exercised. They are simple numbers which quite frankly are numbers that rule our lives in many other ways….3 days to get out of certain product contracts….90 day job review when you start a new company……1 year warranties……..so here goes:
3 day rule = My dad always tried to teach me old skool dating rules…..women don’t call men….men call women…men date/court women….men pay. This of course has changed over time but there is still an artful truth to it. If you are calling him way more than he is calling you…..you may need to rethink your position. So the rule is – If you are dating a guy and he doesn’t call you for 3 days consecutively (and in this day and age that includes a text or any other form of communication)…then don’t call him & start preparing yourself to move on. If you haven’t heard from him in a week….move on! Any man who is in to a girl would not go more than a day without hearing her voice or wanting to see her (especially if they enjoy sex!). Bottom line for this rule……out of site…out of mind….and as each day goes by…it gets easier to forget and move on.
90 day rule = NO SEX til after 90 days….(um….that should be until married!!)…..that’s 3 months and at least 1 season or a combination of seasons. Some people act different during certain seasons. For example, I suck in the winter! SADD – Seasonal Affective Disorder Disease takes over my brain (not a happy girl!) .. This rule folds into the 1 year rule. Bottom line to this rule…..generally 3 months is what I call the honeymoon phase. You are learning each others favorite color, food, drink, family, etc…..there really shouldn’t be anytime for sex with all you have to learn! And if it doesn’t work out……you didn’t give up the cookies!!
1 year rule – You should spend at least 4 seasons with someone before considering marriage (see 90 day rule explanation of seasons). By this time, you should know what bothers you and what you can shrug off and live with……and you should know what bothers enough that could constitute a deal breaker in the future if its not fixed. Deal breakers are generally cheating, alcoholic, porn addict, drug addict, abusive(unless both parties are into that stuff)…major stuff. Other deal breakers could fester such as non-communicator, frivolous spender, selfishness, controlling, invader of privacy(always trying to catch you)…& a host of others annoyances but that’s all I can think of for now. These type of deal breakers may be helped with counseling…if not….then you have to decide if these lesser fester deal breakers can be lived with for the rest of your natural born life!!
So that’s the high level skinny……I could go deeper….but that may fry a few brain cells and cause me to actually write a book about it!! ….next blog……When to know the difference between controlling and “needy”.
Here’s to the differences GOD made between women and men….and the wisdom to appreciate the favor……CHEERS!!!